The Power of De-Cluttering Your Space

Let's talk about personal space, clutter and how it can affect us. Now there are three kinds of people in this world.

The kind of person I am trying to be: Clean and organized, those people who have their shit together (at least they seem like it). The person that I actually am: cluttered, not dirty, but not at all organized. And then... well we all know that other kind of person. They're kinda just.. gross. No offense. Usually they're bachelors. They can't help it. And really as long as people are not wallowing in filth that can spread disease,  that's okay.

But let's face it, most of us would love to have color coded closets, and completely minimalist empty tables and bookshelves (or movie shelves) that are alphabetized and whatnot. Which would be great. And it's a totally realistic idea, if you don't have kids, and if you have lots of time, and the means to maintain it. Which means everything is literally not touched unless it's being dusted.)

I don't know about you guys, but I don't live that way. Plus I've got a one year old, and she dominates everything within her grasp. And as soon as she learns how to walk without holding onto furniture (she's barely one), I have a feeling my house is going to constantly be a state of "Toddler Was Here."

Which is ok. Because I have taken action. Proactively. To teach her to be organized and clean as she grows up. You see. My childhood, I was raised with a mom... who was a bit of a hoarder. And not like in the show "Hoarders" kind of way. It was more like clutter - Keep the plastic containers of yogurt and sour cream because we can reuse them. Or Hey! We can make something out of this pretty glass bottle! Recycling is great - but there came a point where it became too much.

And honestly it kind of stressed me out as a kid. And I took the habit with me as an adult. It wasn't until recently when I had kind of a break through. I don't have to KEEP those containers to recycle. And I don't have to keep all of the old clothes I don't wear any more to make anything out of them. I could you know... just donate them. Or turn them into cleaning rags.

And so I purged. I purged my closet and purged my house. And now I'm mostly rid of trash. Things I don't want. And the funny thing is I needed to do that anyway. Because I'm remodeling you know. you can't remodel with a bunch of crap laying around. And the weird thing is... I super enjoyed the purging process. I ended up watching a bunch of Marie Kondo's "Tidying Up." I learned new things.

And then I did research on the psychological affects that tidying up could have.
The effects of clutter can stress someone out. It can make you lose sleep. It can heighten anxiety. Depression can be amplified or even manifested. It can cause tension within family members in the home. It can do the same for children too - except a little bit worse - they're psyche is a little more fragile than an adults after all.

And... I honestly can say it's true. From PERSONAL experience.

First and foremost. I've slept better. Just knowing that I dont have a shit ton of CRAP to sift through in the morning to find something to wear. And I don't have to worry knowing that everything has it's place. I will admit, I'm still working on it, but I'm only human. Besides its way easier to clean someone else's house then your own. And again I'm remodeling.

But my depression since I have started to do a total clean out my house has lessened. My anxiety  the feeling of being overwhelmed the minute I walk into my house has gone - and while my house is still not perfect - it's a progressing work in progress.

So if you are feeling any of these things. You may need to de-clutter and get rid of excess things. You may just need a little bit more space.

When You Fail - You Succeed

When You Fail, You Are On The Right Path to Success. 

I believe that the only way a person can grow, is to put a conscious effort into it. And whether you are growing a business, expanding yourself personally, or even just looking for a little motivation - I truly believe that the key to that is personal mental growth. 

And in my opinion, one of the biggest keys to self-growth is gaining a new perspective on what we call 'failure.' Failure can be defined as so many things - each individual can look at themselves and pick out mental and emotional sores from experiences that they deem as failures. Personally, financially, business wise, socially, and so on and so forth. 

Recently, I had some severe failures of my own. Personally and business-wise - and those failures were directly entwined with each other. And I could not get past it. I kept thinking: "If only I had done this." Or "I should have walked away." "I wasted so much time." I was so fixated on my failures - that I could not move forward beyond those failures. 

You know what they say though - you are and always will be your own worst critic - and in being that you are your own worst enemy when it comes to achieving success. 

So I did some digging and found a wonderful book - written by an established and wonderful author named John Maxwell. The book was titled "Failing Forward." The title immediately caught my eye - and it was on my list of self-growth books that I needed to read anyway. 

And it was the first few chapters where I found the keys to my own enlightenment.  So I would like to 'dumb down' a few of the main points here that Maxwell explained in his book - and share it with all of my readers.  These points were so amazing, and so thought provoking that it was within the first few chapters that I was able to begin moving forward and taking my failures with me to a new path - where I very strongly hope to succeed - using my failures as my cornerstone and foundation for my success. 

So first we need to understand what failure is. Everyone has their own definition. And most of the time, it has a negative definition. The very word failure sends ripples of anxiety and fear in most people. Because we have all, for the most part, been raised to believe that failure is objective, that it's permanent, that it's a stain on ourselves that will forever be remembered.  Basically, in a nutshell most people view failure as: "You did not succeed. You failed. And in doing so, you have brought shame upon yourself, your family, and your cow." - Yes. I just made a Mulan reference. Go watch it after you read this. It's a great movie. 

So what is failure truly? The true definition of failure is this: "Failure is the price we pay for success."

John Maxwell explained this beautifully in his book, and it comes up repeatedly throughout it. He felt the urgency to repeat it several times - so I will take a page from his book - (get it?) - and so will I.

Failure is the price we pay for success.

All roads that lead to accomplishment, success and triumph lead through the land of failure.  This is a semi edited statement taken directly out of John Maxwell's book. And he is absolutely right! He gives many stories of great people of importance in history, with detailed accounts of their failures and what brought them to success. But I am going to just highlight a few ones of important note.

Albert Einstein is perhaps my most favorite historical figure to think about when I'm feeling hard on myself. He had the most amazing view of failure, and some of his most famous quote give you quite an insight to it. To list a few of those quotes that explain how failure is a success:

• "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new."
• "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
• "Once you stop learning, you start dying."
• "It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer."

Or what about Thomas Edison's quote about failure? 

• "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

And a personal hero of mine - J.K Rowling. She was rejected by 12 publishers. But because she did not give up - look at the monumental BRAND that "Harry Potter" is today. Same with a lesser favored "Twilight" series, that was rejected by 14 publishers! 

The most important thing to learn here is that failure is not objective, it's subjective. John Maxwell explains this concept beautifully in his book - but here is a simple break down of it.  Only you can label yourself, make yourself feel or look like a failure. As John Maxwell informed me - failure is not a stigma unless you make it a stigma on yourself. 

So... the difference between "achieving" people and "average" or "failing" people?  Point of view of course. Perspective. So the first step for me, was that I needed a new definition, a new perspective and a new approach to my failures. 

Maxwell highlighted a few important key facts that I have made a conscious decision to apply to myself. And they key factors are dramatically helping me every day change my perspective - so that I can continue to "fail forward," instead of just failing. 

1. Achievers reject rejection and do not take failure personally.
2. Achievers don't see failure as permanent. 
3. Achievers see incidents of 'failure' as isolated events. 
4. Achievers keep REASONABLE and REALISTIC goals - I am so guilty of setting almost impossible goals - which in turn sets me up for failure. 
5. Achievers focus on strengths, and what they CAN do - and they try to hone their weaknesses in their spare time so that they can add them to the strengths list. 
6. Achievers try a variety of methods to succeed in their goals. If one way does not work - they try again a different way (Heeeey, Mr. Edison!)
7. Achievers bounce back. Life is a series of 'outcomes.' And every outcome is a lesson - and that most certainly includes 'failures.' 

So from here on out. Stop letting the fear of "failure" paralyze you, stop procrastinating, stop feeling hopeless and like you have no meaning to your life, stop avoiding what you are afraid of, and stop being inactive. 

Because according to both John Maxwell - AND Albert Einstein - "A life full of mistakes is more honorable than one of non-action." 

And I would be to agree. Whatever your goals are, remember to make reasonable and realistic goals - and if you don't succeed ... try again. You didn't fail. You just didn't quite succeed that time around. But that doesn't mean you can't. 

So quit smoking. Get promoted. Build a business. Fall in love. Go make a friend. Tell that terrible truth. And be free knowing that ALL success is a direct result from failure.

Oh! And if you're wondering - YES! You can read this amazing book. You can actually find it on Youtube  - the entire audio book for free. However - you can also find it on Amazon.com. If you are struggling with failure, and how to get past it - I super DUPER recommend John Maxwell's "Failing Forward."  It will move you and help you better understand failure, so that you can reach your personal success. 

Breaking Free From Dependency

So it's been a while since I've made a post, and for that I do apologize. But we are most definitely getting back on track. And some of you may be wondering what may have happened to me? Why did I quit writing? Where did my words go? 

And it's quite a simple answer: I wish I knew. 

For a long time I was lost. Life seems to get harder and harder the more we grow up. The more things happen, the more painful incidents become. Money, relationships, family are all stresses that everyone has - so I am sure most of you understand when I say the following: Sometimes life just gets in your way, and the wrong turns you take lead you down dark paths and then you lose yourself in the maze we call life.  

And when you lose yourself, you lose sight of who you are, who you want to be, and who you were. I do believe I am free enough right now to say that is exactly what happened to me. And it never helps if you're in situations emotionally where you have no support - or at least you feel that way. 

Life has been hard lately. In the past couple of years, I've had a beautiful baby - she's almost 9 months as of today. And she is most definitely the best part of my life. The rest of it  kind of sucks though and I hate to say it - I can relate it all to my bad decisions. My bad decisions to involve myself with people who care nothing about taking advantage of me, or beating me down, or trying to change who I am. 

And it's just funny, because although you can't help who you love - you can choose to either let it control you, or you can 'man-up' (I say that loosely...) and choose the pain. I didn't choose the pain. I chose for a long time to let the outside influences of myself change me. 

And now I am certainly trying to get back to myself. 

Even now, I'm pining for someone who will never change, but instead wants me to break pieces of myself and throw them away so I learn to tolerate the emotional roller coaster that it is to love them. The breathless feeling of need of their presence when I know in my head it's bullshit. Nobody needs anyone. Not like that. 

We're social creatures, and we do need other people - but we never need just one person for validation. We never need to lower ourselves and put up with being confused or hurt or unclear for any extended amount of time. We choose to do that. 

We choose the pain that other people bring us. And that's what confuses us. 
"Why do they do this to me? Why would they do that? I love them so much, and they say they love me, so why do they keep hurting me?"

Why do you choose to keep letting them? It's a primal instinct to need another person. The problem with someone who has been abused once, is we feel the need for validation. We feel the need to be loved. We cling to the smallest notions of this love and validation as soon as it appears. And it creates a vicious cycle. Maybe you're not being abused again per say - but I bet deep down  - like me - you're not happy. Because those small nuggets of love and validation are few and far between. But you cling to them, because they come. 

And then never mind the off-on again cycle. Never mind all the times you feel lonely when you're not supposed to, or the fact that things are said and done that make you feel misplaced or cry. It's those little desperate nuggets when things finally do feel good. And it's like.. that's all you need right? Those little moments wipe everything away.

And so you attract only those kinds of people. Only that kind of energy. Because you feel worthless and low, and you're easy prey. You depend on these people for validation when really they can't give it to you. Not in the way you deserve. 

No one deserves to feel happy once a week or less. We deserve more than that. And if you're not - if you're in a situation where you are just clinging to the moments of happiness and the rest of the time you're stuck wondering why, or feeling out of place, or weird, or sad, or lonely... that is WRONG!

To break free from that - you need to recognize that you do deserve more. It's too hard to learn to love yourself before you break free of this circle of dependency. I am far from loving myself. It's hard to even come to terms with the fact that we do deserve more. I am struggling with it every day. 

But I'm going to write it down. And then share it with everyone who ever lays eyes on this - because that way it's out there. The energy is being manifested. And I hope it resonates with people who have been stuck in the same vicious loop of pain and lonely that I have been for years. I hope you take this to heart because - even now tears and pain are ripping through me as I write this. Because I don't believe it yet - I just know it in my mind. Next I need to feel it in my heart.

I deserve more.
I deserve to feel loved - not just sometimes - but all the time.
I deserve to not have to wonder if I am loved.
I deserve to be able to talk to my friends and not have to worry about if it's going to cause a fight. 
I deserve to feel secure. 

I don't deserve to be told I am something I am not - and that I would stray away from my feelings of devotion when I would never. 
I don't deserve to have to figure out and puzzle why one day my relationship is good, and why suddenly one day it's not. 
I don't deserve to wonder why I'm not enough. Because I am enough. And every single person who has ever genuinely loved me for who I am has told me so repeatedly. 
I don't deserve to hate myself. 
I deserve more. 

And so do you. So lets break free together. Lets look in the mirror and tell ourselves everyday that we deserve more. Until our heart believes it. Then when we figure out how to be happy on our own, how to survive without the constant pressure of up and down, fight or love, and never knowing what each day is going to be like... we will figure out how to love ourselves.

Then... we will learn how to attract people who love us for who we are - and who aren't afraid to show it.

Stressucation! A Debrief of Stress Harmful Effects And 5 Organic Tips to DeStress

We always hear about how stress isn’t good us. People are always telling us that we need to relax (which if you’re anything like me, that irritates you and stresses you out more). But why? There of those of us that are called “stressors.” Our stress holds us together. As long as we have a 10 hour work shift, errands to run, bills to pay (which is why we have to work 10 hour work shifts), and a million other things to do we seem to be held pretty much together. It’s not like we choose to be this way, we just are. Because that’s how our life is. Because let’s face it: Being an adult is stressful and it’s rare that we find those moments when we don’t have at least one thing stressing us out. But it’s just stress right? Sure maybe you don't feel the best emotionally, and may have a hard time getting your thoughts together but the fact of the matter is stressors  that may be harming ourselves physically on top of our obvious emotional/mental problems.

Not only does constant stress make it harder to focus and function, but stress also lowers our immune system. Without getting into exact science of it, stress inhibits our immune system, as well as our ability to heal, as well as opening up the door for vulnerability to some major life-changing diseases such as Type 2 Diabetes, some autoimmune diseases, and osteoporosis. Scary right? So how do people who have stress, especially the chronic stressors, get some relief? And how do they get it without taking  anxiety medication or other medications that may ‘zombie-fy’ them? Well, here’s a few non-chemical tips to get that de-stress everybody needs!

• Start with a Tea. Everyone knows that one person out there who just cannot start their day without that morning coffee. If they don’t get their coffee they are cranky, groggy, slow and well… Coffee-zilla. Don’t worry. This segment is not about giving that cup of morning joe up. Even though coffee isn’t exactly great for you, one cup a day isn’t going to cause major damage. However if you have more than one, maybe you should consider replacing that second cup with a tea! It’s just as good, and way better for your body. And those of you who are smoothie breakfast people, or don’t really have a morning beverage ceremonially, you too ought to consider a tea. A cup of chamomile tea, chai tea, or green tea will get those stress feelings under control.
• Bust-A-Move. We are all tired of hearing our doctors to tell us to exercise. And as an adult, there's only a small portion of us who have time between work, family and life to put in a work out. And let’s be real here - there’s a select few people who like exercising. Exercising is not as bad as it seems though! Exercise is kind of like meditating for those that cannot empty their mind to meditate. Once one begins to exercise, after a while, all your focus goes to the one action that you’re doing as your body works harder and harder to complete the tasks you’re telling it to do. And when your body gets to working like that, endorphins (a scientific word for ‘happy’ feelsy stuff in your body) begin to flow. And believe it or not, after your workout you will feel more relaxed, be in a better mood despite yourself, and even though you might be sweaty and out of breath; answers that you might have been struggling with become more clear. So maybe you don’t want to go on a diet and exercise to lose weight (probably to just spite your Dr. It’s okay we all do it.), just find time for 30 minutes a day of whatever physical activity you enjoy (that gets your heart pumping and your sweat pouring) to keep those stress levels down!
• Clear your mind! Some people can’t meditate while sitting still. It’s just not possible for them. For some people they don’t have the discipline to not fidget, others don’t have the attention span, and let’s face it - focusig on nothing or just the feeling of your nose is hard. The term ‘meditate’ is used loosely here. Meditation-in-motion is something that is being encouraged more and more. Meditate by doing something that relaxes you. Adult-Coloring books are becoming a rather well known thing, as coloring helps you focus on one action at a time, and when you get focused on it you lose track of thought of much else. Some people actually use running or walking as their meditation, focusing on burning calories or going a distance, keeping up a certain speed, or even just focusing on the sensation of their legs burning as they lift and step, the feeling of their foot hitting the ground or the sweat dripping down their face. Find an activity that allows you to focus on it, instead of everything that may or may not stress you out. And if you’re one of the few that has the ability to sit on a yoga-mat and focus on just your breathing then make sure you do it! A little breather every day will help you be able to feel more in control of your situation and your stress triggers.
• Crank it up! Everybody needs some music. Again music helps the body relax and release those feel-goods in your hormones. Music appreciation is stimulated by whatever brave waves it activates - or something like that. So whether you are a rocker, a bee-bopper, an oldies and goodies, or if you appreciate the sound of a good country tune, no matter what it is, play it.  As long as you like what you hearing, turn that music on and up whenever you can! And if you play an instrument, make sure you play it to your hearts content!
• Sleep is your friend - no matter how evasive it may seem. When your stressed, sleep isn’t exactly an easy thing to come by. But learn your body, put yourself on a scheduled regime so that your body becomes accustomed to sleeping at a certain time. Out of everything, this is probably the hardest thing to do. However if you are tired, you will not be able to manage your stress. So learn how to manage your sleep and get help for it if you must. A cup of chamomile tea with yarrow and passionflower will help you relax making your melatonin more effective.

How Closure Can Heal

I think it's reasonable to guess that almost everyone in the world has experienced a situation in which they have received no closure. Whether it be an incident, a relationship, an experience, an addiction or lifestyle, I believe we all have dealt with something that moved us deeply and created a wound in which refuses to close. In fact, I think it's safe to say majority of people have experience several things in their life in which closure seems out of reach.

The worst thing about not having closure is humans have a habit of being lured into a false sense security after so long. The wound on our hearts involving whatever situation we experienced scabs over and we think: "Okay. I'm over it. I'm healed. It doesn't hurt or bother me any more. I don't care about it." And we truly think that this is the case until something happens to cause the scab to tear and allow the pus from the festering wound to seep out in the open and assault our senses with the stench of infection. Do keep in mind I'm saying this figuratively.

I guess one good example is the situation I am currently in. My biological father was never there for me as a child, or my early adulthood. I suppose at the ripe age of 26, I am still currently still in young adulthood. As a child, I wanted his attention. As a teenager, I was hurt and angry. As an adult, I didn't think I cared any more - as I have a few very strong and solid male role models in my life to lead and guide me.  On my wedding day, I didn't think about my biological father at all. The  day I left my husband, all I wanted was authoritative father figures I currently have. I thought: "I'm okay. I turned out fine. I don't hate him any more, I don't want him around and I certainly do not care what happens."

But as I mentioned, sometimes things happen that rip open that scab and make you face the infection of animosity (or pain or anger or whatever it is that the situation you are faced with) from whatever it is in which you have no closure. And it's always a shocker. It rocks you back on your heels as if you were hit by a sudden force of pressure, and sometimes it could take days to actually sink in.

I was informed that my biological father is basically... dying to put it bluntly a week or two ago. When I was first informed I felt nothing. But as I thought about it, I realized I was on a time limit now to actually be okay with the situation. Was I okay with letting him die without telling him how much he's hurt me?

Am I okay with him not recognizing me as a person that he helped create and bring into this world ? And that I turned out to be pretty influential even though I keep my circles tight and very small?

I have come to the conclusion that perhaps I was not as healed as I have thought. I am reaching out to him... I guess even this blog post is a way of reaching out to him. Because I want him to know that I turned out fine without him. Because that is my closure. I want him to know that he hurt me. But I grew up fine in spite of it. I want to tell him I love him, I hate him, and I do not think that when he dies the tears I will cry will be out of sadness, but of regret of never really knowing him, and never being loved by him.

I have father figures who are proud of me, who I strive to make proud of me. And I am okay with that. I've come to terms with them and they love me and see me for me. And I love them.  However, everybody knows it's not the same.

Perhaps it is not the nicest closure to receive, to tell a dying man that he wasn't needed after all, and that he hurt people in his life. I'm sure as he's dying, every regret is coming to him in loads. Perhaps I am one of them in some way, shape or form. I only fear the regret of me will be my existence - but I will not let that bother me. I will tell him even though I love him, I hate him, and to not expect sadness of his death from me, only regret.

Because that will be my closure even though it's hard to say - especially since as a shaman I am to understand the neutral side of his own feelings and fears. As a daughter though, I will not spend the rest of my life hating a dead man for what he never tried to do and for what he never did. I will tell him how I feel, so that when he finally journeys into the afterlife, I do not keep him tethered by a chain of animosity, but rather one of neutral acknowledgment that he once existed and some where his spirit will continue to exist. That way I can proudly continue to say that I am a shaman, and I have strove and continue to conquer my own physical and emotional faults - so that I can continue to help people without being a hypocrite.

Because the only way to cure a wound like this is to get closure. And I strongly urge those who have something that keep them in the past, or keep them from moving forward and onto new and brighter things is to do just this: Seek closure. Let your words leak from the heart, and come rushing forth without hesitation. Because that is the only way you will get closure - and even if the situation does not go as you hope - at the end of the day you will still have closure.

The peace that comes with closure is a heavenly feeling, and it leaves the taste of progress lingering in your mouth.  Usually closure comes with a price, and the action to gain that closure feels like one of the hardest things you will have to do. And perhaps, like in my situation, the realization that you even need closure can be shocking and hard to come to terms with. But once it is done... it is completely done.

So go forth, and get your closure. You deserve it.

The Internal Compass

Always there's a point in our lives where we feel lost. Our faith gets shaken, we experience a loss that leaves us stranded and unsure of which way to step to move forward with our lives, sometimes we wake up one morning and realize we've become complacent and we just aren't happy floating with the tide anymore. Whatever the case is, a point will come when feel ourselves dragging our feet mentally, spiritually, physically and emotionally.

We forget what once made us smile, what made our hearts beat to the sound of our own drum. We forget the way it felt to soar above the forest canopy with our faith or confidence, to be running uphill towards something or anything. We lose track of the things we aspire for, and our inspiration dwindles down to a faint glow of a dying ember. 

So what do we do when we find ourselves treading water, being pulled against the tide of our souls? How do we overcome the sense of listlessness that gives us cabin fever in regards to our own lives and skins?  When we get to that point, it's usually too late, our discontent has grown to thick that it feels as if every part of our daily lives is like nails on a chalkboard. 

The important thing is to try and remember not to lash out. Don't take it out on your family or your loved ones.  You'll find that not lashing out is easier said than done. But it's important to practice is. Communicate with them. Often times we have no idea what is causing this sense of displacement, or discontent.  Sometimes it can take months or even years to figure out why you feel so lost. 

You would think, being an adult for as long as we have been it would be easy to figure out what is upsetting you. But the sense of feeling lost I'm referring to is like falling off of your path, tumbling down a cliff into a dark and muddy ravine. Sometimes we have no clue what caused us to lose our footing, or how we ended up where we ended, and worst of all we have no clue how to get back to the path we originally set ourselves on. 

Most of the time the problem lays within our heart, but as humans we try to think about our emotions logically with our minds. We ignore what our feelings are saying and we try to rationalize. A lot of times we make excuses as to why we must continue doing whatever it is that we're doing. We tell ourselves to just keep getting through it one day at a time, it'll get better. 

But it won't. Until we have figured out what is making us feel so lose, complacent and discontent with our lives it will not. Our hearts are our internal compass. Listen to your emotions, try to locate what is upsetting you. The sooner you get to the root of the problem, the sooner it is you will find your way back to being happy, and feeling as if we have found our way.

Again it could take months or even longer to find ourselves again. Figuring out the root of all the problems is the hardest part, but the longest part if solving the issue. Unfortunately what makes us feel displaced as people are often things that take a lot of time to solve, or things that feel impossible to reverse or rectify. Time, money, patience and determination, physical state of being, our own homeostasis. All of those are very difficult subjects, and not everyone has equal amounts of any of those things.

But follow your heart, don't ever tune out it's desires. It's our internal compass, and if you throw it away, you may not like where you end up.

The Tabooloid, Part 1: Religion

The Tabooloid, Part 1: Religion

Disclaimer:  This article is MEANT to be controversial. It’s meant to stir feelings. It’s meant to invoke a reaction out of people. But I really don’t care about your reaction. Keep it to yourself. The following article cannot be taken as stone. It is not preaching, it is not gospel, it’s not religion bashing or the encouragement of religion. It is simply words written after deep contemplation from a mind that sees more than the world than just is, who has been told things about the afterlife from other sources.  It is meant to be as profound and eye opening food for thought or you may take it as the ramblings of a crazy person. How one interprets this next article is up to you. I take no responsibility for any offense that is taken from my genuine experience and thought. If you message me or comment on here with any form of argument, I will tell you that you can get happy in the same pants you got sad in, because this is MY thoughts and it is just meant to help people think about things, and maybe better themselves in their beliefs. Also these thoughts are not directed at EVERYBODY who has a religion or who is an Atheist. You know what kind of person you are. And if you do or do not do the things mentioned in my written monologue (which doesn’t actually even scratch the surface about my thoughts on religion), you KNOW if this is directed at you or not. Do not take offense at my general outreach to people if you KNOW in your heart of hearts that you are not as follows. Because you may not do it, but others do. And if you DO, well, read the article and just know that you’re a jerk. And I hope this helps you stop in your tracks in the future when you’re about to be a jerk again, and redirect you in the right path.

Religion. It is meant to be a great and profound thing. It is the setting of goals or regulations or requirements of life to help those find their way to another place, their desired place after death. It is a word or way of life that helps people live their life to the way that their Creator wants them to. And to some, its a placation of fear and restlessness in life.  It is supposed to be a profound thing.  A way of teaching that educates people to be a profound gathering of believers who follow the ways of their Creator to find an eternity of peace and love after their passing here in this world.

Well let’s get something straight very quickly before I begin to break down the complexities of religion from my eyes. I do believe in our Creator. To some he is known as Allah, to others Buddha. To many he is known as Lord God Almighty or The Father. And there are other names that our Creator is known as. And with every name God is worshiped differently with different cultures and heritages. I fully believe in a higher power. I believe in the complexities and mysterious origins of a place called Heaven or Sanctuary. I also believe in Hell, and dark malevolent soul thirsty entities known as Demons.  I do not believe Heaven is up and Hell is down.  But I believe they are existent. Actually, I know they exist. And with every part of me, I thank our Creator. I will thank him, and love him under all of those names or none. For I believe they are one and the same.  I do not believe that different cultures and heritages and beliefs and ways of worship make each name any less significant than the other.

I guess that’s the benefit of not having a religion however. Because as some of you were reading that paragraph you were already judging me, saying that I was wrong, or I was going to hell, or I was blaspheming. And that is the ultimate flaw of religion. If you go onto Facebook, or other social media sites, you do not have to look very hard to find people going at each other with ugly words and closed minds for their difference of opinions - and to be quite frank and burst all of those bubbles - doing the exact OPPOSITE of what their God wants. Certainly, IF he's a benevolent being, he does not want to be used as the excuse for Christians to bash each other verbally and physically. And to be frank, it's kind of stupid to do so.

And do not argue with that, not even to yourself. All you have to do is scroll down your wall I am sure for a few hours, or you can venture into forums or type in a keyword, and you will find religious hate. There was a tumblr image that was going around Facebook for a while, a long list of “Christians” bashing Atheists with words that were as ugly as the hell they so cringe from.  “All Atheists should burn in hell.” “If the law allowed, I would shoot you all in the head with a 12 gage shotgun.” Those are the two quotes that really stuck in my mind, but there were more that were equally as ugly.

I’m not sure about you, but IF I were a benevolent God, that is not how I would want my worshippers to show their love or support of me. Last time I checked, religion was about a shepherd leading a flock. And if there is a lost lamb, shouldn’t that lamb be cared for and lead home instead of bashed for being geographically challenged? I mean, that’s what I ASSUME religion is SUPPOSED to be about. But hey, if your bible says be an asshole and say cruel and ugly things, displaying you for the asshole you are, then by all means. Go ahead. Your assholery is no one else’s problem but yours at the end of your life.

It’s funny how Religion, most religions, do not encourage such ugly, sinful words. And yet almost (ALMOST) every Christianaml is guilty of such things. Religion has turned into an ugly, hypocritical thing.  Catholics hate Protestants and will war with them until the end of time. Baptists and Jehovah’s Witness will continually tell each other the other is going to hell for their differences. Religion has been tainted, by crusades, wars, judgment, prejudices since the beginning of well..Religion.

The Crusades were an excuse to murder, crying out that “In the name of God” it was excusable (I am at least aware that in the bible it simply says: Thou shall not kill. No where does it have : (“Unless it is in my name, then Murder is perfectly acceptable”) But would it really be that surprising if it did?

 I do not read the bible, because in my line of work I take dark entities out of people. Possession is a very real thing. And more than once my family not reading the bible and memorizing its profound messages word for word has saved us. Not even three years ago my mother was possessed, and what helped me know the difference between her and the entity was the scripture it procured from her mouth.

That is not the only reason however. I found that the bible is untrustworthy. The bible, back before printers and copiers and computers ever existed, had to be hand written. Kings ordered scribes to copy down the bible by hand into books when needed. And if you think that the greed of the Monarchs was quenched by the fear of the wrath of our Creator, then you were not paying attention in history class. The bible has been manipulated for thousands of years to read in the order of whomever had the authority to do so since the beginning of religion. Chapters left out, words changed, paragraphs edited. The bible reads exactly how each religion chooses to read it. It has been warped into a tool of manipulation.

If there were to be a bible that I trust, it would be the Quran. However even still, I cannot read the passages with 100% certainty. For every book was written by human hand. And unfortunately, humans have proven themselves liars time and time again over existence.  

Another thing I find ridiculous is people who are religious-based is that whenever someone else has a problem, or they themselves find something that is a problem their answer is to pray. They tell each other that God will fix it, or that God would never hand someone something they couldn’t handle. They say that God has a plan for each and every one of us and that he is personally hand-manipulating everyone’s lives. People blame God and pray and ask why when they are having issues. They thank God when there is a extraordinary good thing.

I am going to remind you of something that is sort of…the prime purpose of humans. Behold, I will tell you  MAIN ingredient that our Creator mixed into his cauldron when he created us (other than blood, carbon, matter and icky gooey stuff on our insides). Free will. Free will dominates our world. That is so important. Free will makes you sin. Not the devil. Freewill makes you an asshole who says being gay is bad or atheists should die. Freewill puts you in the predicaments that you are in (and karma probably). Freewill gets you that promotion at work when you chose to work hard and proved your worth to your coworkers and supervisors. Freewill starts war under the excuse of religion. Free will makes that man find the courage to save that woman about to be hit by a car. Freewill makes heroes. Freewill makes villains. Free will makes us who we are. Freewill is what turns our world with greed or love. God does not do any of that.  Like any good parent who is displaying a dose of tough love to their child learning how to walk, our Creator sits back and watches us fall and stand over and over again. It is our choices to rise above and learn to run that gains his approval and love.

And if you think that God has time to personalize every single one of our lives you are clearly delusional. There are BILLIONS of people on earth. Do you HONESTLY think God is going to write out every single story on this earth? And what, the Devil just interjects every once in a while with fanfiction of his own? Seriously? 

Freewill. It makes us assholes. Or it makes us amazing. And that is totally up to each and every individual on their own. Stop blaming our Creator for the troubles in your life, and stop using him as an excuse. That is also a form of blasphemy.

Personally, I run on faith. I myself feel, as well as many other people do, that we do not need a church, a saint, a priest, or any other kind of religious leader or icon to talk to God. Faith is the belief of. And having the faith of is enough. You do your best to be a good person, do not hurt other people or torment Gods creatures. Take care of the Earth, and be kind. Help others. And pray to whom or whatever you believe in, and you will do fine… we are not meant to know. And it is presumptuous to think you know, or to tell others that they are wrong.  It is arrogant to think that you are so special that you are better than someone else, or your beliefs are better than anyone else’s.

….Now for you Atheists. Don’t think you’re getting off the hook that easily. I see a lot of religion hate from you folks too. And a lot of it seems to be based off of “I don’t believe in anything, and you’re stupid to believe if you do. Because SCIENCE.” OR It’s based off of “I hate Catholicism so I am going to be an Atheist just to spite everyone, and I’m going to bash God, and bash religion EVERY FUCKING CHANCE I GET.”

Yah. To those of you who are like that. Fuck you. Again. Your assholery is no one’s problem but yours, and that kind of attitude tells me you’re kind of a lonely person, because you’re probably hard to tolerate on a general basis, not just when talking about religion. Because you have a God complex despite your ‘lack’ of belief. And you think you’re better because you can pull up science that you probably have NO clue what the actual fuck you’re talking about as a justification for not believing in God and bashing those who might be a little bit more open minded that there are other things. I know plenty of people like you. You probably like to go on the internet and try to look smart and make people feel small too. Because that’s the kind of person you are. How very pathetic and lonely. By the way, I know a few Christian scientists, and they are just fine finding a balance between faith, or religion, and science.

To the other kinds of Atheists who generally have no idea what to believe, or don’t believe in anything because it seems…far-fetched.  You aren’t Atheist. You’re Agnostic. You just dunno what to believe.

Think of God, or Creator, Or whatever name you want to give the main God as the CEO of a business. He’s a paper pusher. He makes executive decisions on the state of the company based off of the information he receives from his managers.

Now these managers could be minor gods, Demi-Gods, Angels. Arch angels, or other kinds of deities that you might be interested. And below them are the supervisors. Guardians, familiars, spirits, mediators between worlds, Employees are perhaps the churches, and spiritual leaders of each different religion. And the consumers would be the believers, or the congregations. Perhaps it’s the same reverse up too, for those that choose the odd religion of Satanism (I mention it because I respect ALL religions equally, even if some scare me a little bit).

As I mentioned earlier, I run on Faith. The Creator is a CEO. Or maybe even a mob boss. He’s got homies. He’s got an entire arsenal of homies. Just find something to believe in. Believe in Kathulu is that is what rocks your boat. Or Alien Gods. Or Greek Gods. Or Native American Dieties. Or Chinese or Hindu or... WHATEVER!

All of these things, I truly believe are our Creators homies, or Managers. You don’t have to believe in the CEO or the Almighty. As long as you believe in SOMETHING, you will be just fine. Because a world without any kind of faith that there might be something better than this wretched, cruel world… is a dark dreary world indeed. There is an entire world full of different kinds of something for you to believe in. Look into it. Do some research. You'll find something that will make sense to you, or you won't, and you'll become Athiest. Which is okay too. 

And if you are happy not believing in anything, then good for you. Just try not to be an asshole to people who do. Because you’re not much better than the ‘hypocrites’ that you criticize every day if you judge them back.

To everyone who doesn’t fit exactly in this article I just want to say: good for you. You’re not doing something that caused a loud keyboarded girl to notice you.  To those who have Religions and follow it, and manage to keep yourself in good spirits, and don’t use Religion as an excuse to be a jerk to those who may or may not agree with you: You are obviously a good person. You’re just fine. Keep in mind that I’m not bashing Religion in any way shape or form. I’m not discouraging it. I’m just noting flaws that people seem to be taking to the bank as a reason to get a loan for a gun.  Keep doing what you’re doing, because you my friend, are the ideal kind of Christian. You’re rare and precious. And God bless you. 

A Pep Talk To My Girls - And a Lesson For My Men

So. I've been thinking as I have currently started a job that makes me run into this situation myself lately... a lot.

I think its damn cute (in the most condescending way possible) that men out there actually think they can call me pretty, or sexy, or compliment me a few times and think I should be all about giving them what they want.  Like a few compliments justifies me sending a picture, or kissing their dirty no-idea-where-it's been mouth, or even tolerate them making grabby hands at me. Like I have so little value of myself that I will fawn over the first guy that compliments me - like they're the first one to do it.

So this happens so often, I'm wondering if it's actually a thing. Surely it must be so if so many men think that giving a fuzzy compliment is going to justify me going out back and maybe opening my legs for them. Or anyone. With the media, music and society selling sex with posters of 'flawless' women and rappers making songs that talk about how tapping asses is such a big deal, only because they're so bad ass or whatever.

All I have to say is: SHUT UP and LISTEN..

So.

To the ladies:
 I don't give a flying turtle's tail if you're short, tall, thick, thin, scarred, inked up, humble, modest, confident, flawless or flawed. Blue eyes, brown eyes, green eyes, hazel eyes, blonde, brunette, ginger or dyed. Brown, white, black, or 'yellow.' You. Are. A. GODDESS. There is absolutely no reason you should sell yourself short. In the Cherokee heritage all women were raised and treated as vessels of power, respect and women were cherished. We are the epitome of life, of power. We were treated cautiously, respectfully. We had to be separate from others on our moon-cycle because our innate natural power was amplified.  When pregnant we couldn't touch the harvest, or be upstream to the river fish traps because our power could spoil the harvest. Because we were considered powerful.  In my tribe, women were the decision makers, and the men were our enforcers.

Why am I telling you all of this? Because Cherokee or not - you deserve to be respected and honored in that way. Maybe not to the extreme of the old superstitions of our tribe, but you at least deserve to have a man work for what he wants from you. And I mean work hard.

Don't let society teach you and drill in your head that a man simply has to smile and maybe buy you something in order to achieve what he wants from you.

A man who gives up and has a fit after you don't give into him just because he says you're cute is not interested in anything you want. A man who wants you will want to see more than just your pretty face or your nicely framed ass in your tight jeans.  You are worth the effort. You are worth the time. We are creation - and we deserve to be treated like that.

To the men:
Stop being douchebags. Period. Respect the women around you - and stop thinking that  you're just gonna get your way because you grew a pair of balls after one or two drinks and told her she's the sexiest thing you've seen in a long time. Take her out. Get to know her. And stop trying to tally the amount of lays you get. You're the reason why women feel like they have no value nowadays  - and there's absolutely no reason it should be that way.

The Best Decisions

Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest ones to make. The choices that will make you happiest will break your heart the most.

Most of the decisions in life we must make that are vital to our structure will be the most painful actions and decisions you will ever have to make.

Many people always put off the decisions, or draw it out because they are afraid of getting hurt, or hurting someone else.

So take heed my friends: The more painful a decision is, the more important it is to make. While these choices and options never involve a fully pain free route (Or we would take it in a heartbeat, right?) and often it takes a lot of pondering, and usually a final nudge towards one decision or the other, it's best not to draw it out.

This is a general rule of thumb in life, and remember when you are asking why you have to make an unfair decision, or why are you put in a position where you have to decide one painful thing or another; remember that such is life.  Important life changes are not meant to be easy or painless - for how would we grow as people?

The Blurred Lines

"Keep your enemies close, but your friends closer."

I know, I know. The saying usually goes the other way right? But that unfortunately mostly only holds true for people like James Bond. For us normal, everyday average common-folk, unfortunately it is the people we call family and friends who turn out to be the most villainous and harmful to our lives.

When we look back in context to every one we have ever had a battle with, anyone we have intentionally strove to hurt or attack, or held a grudge against it has usually been someone we once upon a time cared for. They were either family, or someone you were once good friends with. It's a sad thing, but for the most part, fact. 

Nobody can drive a person to such degrees of anger, and extended loathing better than someone who was once close to them. There are of course, a few exceptions but they are simply too horrible to list here.  The point of it is, when we reflect on our actions what have we discovered?

Were you the person to drive that friend to hate? Or were you pressed down, walked on and back stabbed to become that person of ire? The people you hate the most, are they people you used to believe were on your side? The line between love, hate and obsession is a very small, thin and often times blurred one. And that's what makes it so hard to fight off these feelings of animosity. 

What many people fail to realize is that if someone is a good friend to you, they can easily become your worst enemy. Not just because the more they care about you, the deeper the anger will run - but because they happen to know you. And an enemy that knows you best is by far the most dangerous thing. 

So for those of you that treat those who care about you abrasively, you may want to take a step back and reflect on if that is a good idea. Because how well can a person hurt you after they've known you? Friendship and love is a very powerful thing, and you may not want to toil it away, for true friends are few and far between.

Mind how you treat those around you, be conscious of how you treat others. And keep your friends close. Because the strongest love can be turned into the most toxic of hate. 

My advice to those who do have feelings of animosity and hatred for someone you once cared for - whether they be a friend, family, or family friend - let it go. And if you cannot, then try. Do not provoke. Don't antagonize, and don't initialize. Just let it go. Life your life, love new loves, and learn to let go of the anger towards others that you have.

At the end of the day, if you cross those blurred lines, the only person you truly hurt is yourself. By the time a war is done being fought, no one truly sees eye to eye. There is no resolution. Only the end of explosive arguments. And then everyone goes off to lick their wounds on their own.

Seething in unresolved anger is not good. So find a way to let it go. Whether that be communication and forgiveness, or just simply moving on with your life and putting the thought of the one who brings out those feelings away. Let it go. So that way the past does not tether you in an endless loop of drama and pain. 

A Collective of Broken Hearts

Quite often, I find people are drawn to me. And while I attract many types of people, I find quite a lot of "Victims" are magnetized in my direction. You'll noticed, I've capitalized that word. And placed quotations where there ought not to be.

I love my origins. I love where I come from, and I love helping people. I am always more than willing to take a bleeding heart and help the seeping wounds close and heal and scar. I find a sense of completion when once there were tears streaming down a face, there becomes a sudden smile.


 Now. What has encouraged this blog? Nothing as of late directed at me. I have learned over years of hard lessons, trouble and obsessed attention seekers to differentiate my friends, and those who use me for attention and purposely enjoy toying with someone's good intentions, those who purposely perpetrate themselves as perpetual constant victims of circumstance..  But I have a few friends who have yet to learned how to wall off those who would take advantage of their gentle natures.

It rightly pisses me off when my friends (and sometimes myself) get used in such a manner. Because these people are like the Boy Who Cried Wolf. These people make up circumstances, cry woe is me. And it makes good hearted people not want to trust others who truly need a shoulder or an ear.

Now. I know I can't change Attention Seekers. In fact, it frustrates me to say that there are legitimate studies to say that its a actual pathological disorder called "Münchausen" syndrome. I can't actually hold these people accountable - but I do believe that almost everything pathological can be prevented, and many of it is mind over matter. I believe THIS particular disorder is created by bad habits - that feed and snowball into a bad pathological path, and develops into a 'disorder.' And people should not be coddled for intentionally screwing with kind people who do their best everyday to be a good person, or a wonderful friend to those they truly believe need it.

But I am going to offer this: Everyone is a victim to their own circumstance. EVERYONE has the power to change their circumstance. Every person that you know,  every person on the train or bus that you ride, every person of every floor of every building.. we've all had our hearts broken, or bodies broken, or will crushed. We've all been oppressed at some point, we've all had our heart breaking stories.

It's not bad to seek the love and affection of another, or to find an open ear. There is no shame in crying to a friend, or breaking down after a hard day. We are all a collective of broken hearts. And together we make a beautiful Muriel, and if we tell our stories properly we can all be a story of success, strength, courage, and empowerment. Human beings have the capacity to pull together in the most tragic of times, our collective of broken hearts motivate us to pull others up and out of the pain. We slowly piece each other  back together again.

And that is how it should be. To those who continuously strive and struggle against those who would make you fools, or toy with your emotions, string you along and upset you for no good reason other than their enjoyment... stay strong. Because this world does need your kindness. Because your rare kindness could the the life changing difference that someone needs.

Therapeutics for the Anxious

Anxiety is the feeling of fear, unease and worry. The source of these symptoms are not always known.

For way too many the day starts the same. Eyes open, and immediately reeling through their mind is a long list of things they need to do, things they didn't get done the previous day, and how they simply know what won't get done despite telling themselves a thousand times to do it. 

Anxiety... it grips everyone from time to time. But some people suffer more than others. Others are gripped by a constant heavy weight on their minds. Day after day they're worn out by the constant nagging of stress or worry. And a lot of times it's due to a hormonal imbalance - and there is no actual cause to stress. And for these people the consoling thought of : "worry not about what you cannot control" has no effect other than causing them to worry more. 

Fear not. You're not alone. And this little Native girl has some solutions that may cause some relief - because believe it or not despite my wide perspectives and knowledge I too suffer from this strange causeless anxiety. And well...how am I supposed to help people when I'm freaking out myself? Once again the difficult task of overcoming this life problem is not going to be easy. But it's possible! I promise. 

First the key is to finding a way to bring calm to you. Which, is kind of hard because if you could calm down you wouldn't be having anxiety right? Right. Luckily I have a few tricks up my sleeve. Every where I go, I always have access to a few detrimental key herbs. Lavender, Peppermint, Chamomile and Desert Sage. 

To all of my clients that I go and heal and counsel, I generally always bring them a small sachet of it. Just a little organza bag (which.. is usually a soft colour like white or lavender) stuffed with a mixture of these herbs. These herbs have actually been proven to help your brain when you smell them. It sends soothing signals to your brain. A lot of people I care for who tend to have anxiety attacks carry one of these with them every where they go and have reported to me it has cut the amount of attacks they have down a good percent. 

If you feel like you need one of these, please click the buy now button at the bottom of this page to go to our online store!

Next thing. If you have the availability put on your earphones and blast some music. As loud as you like it. And just listen to it. Enjoy it. This helps especially if you don't have a little lavender bag for yourself. A lot of people say 'put on some piano music, calming music." I say bugger that. It doesn't have to be a genre. What is the point in trying to listen to something you're not enjoying. Whatever the mood you're in, put it on. Music that you like brings out happy endorphins, which means less anxiety for you. 

Once you are able to get over that first little shock of anxiety eating at you, it's easier to lose your mind to happier places. I find that once I'm able to relax a little bit I can visualize things that make me happy. Especially with the music going. The thing about anxiety is it can make you feel as if you don't time or energy for the things you enjoy. But if you just let the things you enjoy flood into your day to day, you'll find the anxiety is always lessened. 

These are just a few tips and tricks. The day to day stress will always be there but you don't have to be chained down by the fear and stress of just... life. Life is meant to be lived, and existing in a world where you're always anxious is not living at all. So take the time to find things you enjoy and do them. Gardening, music, dancing, singing, conversing with the people who make you laugh... these are all good anxiety relievers and remember: Isolating yourself will only make you feel worse. So get out there and talk to someone ...you'd be surprised what a good venting to someone who gets you can do for your stress levels. 

So? What else can help you? I found a really great page from a really great person who tells us how she deals with her anxiety. And guess what? She's a PROFESSIONAL anxiety slayer! Check out her page on Anxiety and read it through. If my little tips and tricks didn't help, I bet you hers will when you check out her page in A Brave Life. 

Life is meant to be lived. And you can't live worrying and stressing all the time. So get lost in your joy - and do your best to learn to let go all the needless stress.  Mean while, here is a link to purchase of our anxiety sachets.White Cauldron Inventory

The Most Contagious Disease of Humans: Hate

 "People talk about history and things like slavery, genocide, and religious persecution as horrors that happened in the past because they were ignorant. But nothing has changed. People still hate what they don't understand."

 - J. Matthew Nespoli

Looking around me everyday I see new posts on social media websites, more news on TV and Internet and Newspapers on act acts around the world. I see more peoples hateful responses to the hate. I see peoples hateful responses to the hateful responses to the hate.

And my stomach begins to churn. 

I have to resist the urge to cry.

And sometimes even some of the responses invoke an anger in me that tempts me to response in a hateful way as well. 

Hate...as it just so happens...is contagious. 

We all know that Love is contagious and spreads the more it's given but.. hate is so much more powerful. It sneaks up on us in the most unexpected of ways and in the most unexpected places. In today's world there are blatant and ugly displays of nationality racism, Sexuality racism, Breed Stereotyping, and that is just the tip of the iceberg. There is SO much hate in the world I could not possibly take the time to list any more because it literally could go on... forever.

People are teaching their children to hate. People are teaching others to be afraid of things. People are learning to be afraid of being themselves or of just other people in general because of this monstrosity of a society we call "civilization." And when I think about it I am overwhelmed with a huge deep sadness. Even writing this article I'm struggling not to cry and my heart is so heavy it feels as if at any moment it could drop into my stomach.

Why do people hate?

This is an absolutely genuine question. Is it ignorance? The fear of the unknown? Were you taught to hate something by your parents as a child? Did something bad happen to you causing you to despise the object/people of your affliction? Do you even have a reason? And to the people who preach about morality to their peers, or their children or even to themselves? Do you turn another cheek at any given time? Can you HONESTLY tell me a reason at all? Or when you think about WHY you hate it, are all you come up with are empty lame excuses. Do you blame Religion for your hate? Do you honestly feel there is ever a good reason to hate something to the point of tragedy?

Because like it or not - your hate is an automatic tragedy.

It's tragic your life is interrupted by the foulest negativity any of us can induce on ourselves. It's tragic your energy is wasted on such darkness when there is so much love we could give. It's pathetic that you can't take the time to try and understand what it is that you hate  so you can try to accept it. Because in the end...everything we hate is an inevitability. And taking the time to feel foul against it is nothing but a waste of yourself. It's a waste of what purity you could have within you. It's a contribution to the heavy cloud of ugliness that is within the human populous. It's an additional reason why when we look in the mirror we have insecurities or despise what we see. 

And what's a further tragedy...

Seeds of hate are sown from the smallest harvests of careless statements, thoughts, or actions.

A small careless statement, a floating judgemental thought, an deed done without thinking it through. Hate is done through the smallest and biggest of things. And once it's born it's so incredibly hard to let acceptance and love back in. And even the smallest tendrils of hate are able to grow. And they do. Hate had a tendency to grow, and multiply, and spread. It's a plague. To me..hate is one of the worst diseases of mankind. It's saddest thing.  because once a person begins to hate...they are never the same again.

Remember when we were kids and hate did not exist in our arsenal of feelings?  I do.

And what's the saddest thing is even I have been infected by hate. Thankfully I'm able to recognize it... and once I do I take the time to understand what it is I'm hating and find a way to accept it or reconcile with it. Because hate simply takes too much of my precious energy. Because I am way to busy trying to fight off the negativity of others to feel negativity of my own. 

And it's so hard to do. Because hate sows the seeds of more hate and it's infectious like a virus...more so infact. Nothing good ever comes from hate. Sadness, violence, death, pain, and agony. Those my friends are the symptoms of hate. And NOT just for the recipient of a persons hate either. 

If you have EVER thought that you wanted to be a better person - start by trying to rid yourself of hate.

It's hard. But it is possible. Because when I'm not staring out into a void filled with people hurting each other with words and iron and fist, struggling against the empathic vibe of hate that feels like heavy heat that feels like a crushing weight on my heart... I'm focusing on the tendrils of light coming out of the gloom. The sparks of light and love that are people reconciling with things they hate or dislike every day. People who have the strength and passion to better themselves by shedding discrimination and hatred for each other and everything around them.

So if hate is a disease... strive to be a cure. And the cure is love.

What is Strength?

So what is strength? No, I'm not talking about the kind of strength where we go and see how many kilos we can lift or how hard and fast we can hit a ball. I'm talking about inner strength. Strength of the heart, strength of the mind.

So what is it? It astounds me how many people I know when they are feeling down say things like: "I'm so weak," and "I feel so helpless," or "I wish I was stronger. If I was stronger I could handle this better." It astounds me because I feel as if no one is ever told how strong they really are.

Strength is a very vast thing. And depending on perspective it can be a very tricky thing. People think you need to be strong and never let your pain show. Others feel that if you are able to put your vulnerabilities out there you're stronger than those who make walls of steel around their hearts. But I want to shed that comparison and put a new perspective out there for people to think about, and I hope it helps everyone who is feeling weak and down or out of bounds realize just exactly how strong they are.

Strength is thinking about that easy way out - but not taking it. Strength is every day living, handling the stresses of every day life as it continuous on. Strength is taking the pain of being walked on and handling it, then moving on and having the courage to trust again eventually. Strength is taking care of your loved ones, whether it be poor health or they just simply rely on you - providing that security and care for them is absolute strength. Strength is doing what you feel needs to be done - making hard decisions and executing them even if you are afraid of the outcome, even if things are not certain. Strength is moving forward - no matter how hard it is to keep going. Strength is facing your fears - even in the smallest of ways. Strength is determination and resolution.

Strength is living. Everyday it takes strength to continue with our lives. We all have stories. We all have problems. And every single one of us is strong for getting up and getting on with our lives despite our problems.

So even if you feel down trodden and helpless. Keep moving forward. You've been strong enough to do it all this time. You're strong enough to keep on going.

Monumentally Inconsequential

When the sun is shining brightly, the temperature is comfortable and there is a gentle breeze kissing the skin of your face, how do you feel?

I suppose there is not really one answer. It would depend on your mood, your circumstances, and your frame of mind. It's not always fluffy clouds and wide skies, and stars that we can reach for. Sometimes even on the bluest, brightest of days our skies are dim and dark. 

Have you ever felt monumentally inconsequential? Have you ever felt so useless you wondered why you keep on walking? Felt that nothing you ever did makes any sort of dent in anything you've ever wanted to accomplish so in all honesty the smartest choice is to give up? Have you ever fought the urge to just flop on the ground in the middle of the street and say: "I give up. Nothing I do will make a difference anyway,"?

Yeah. You're not alone. If you have people around you, look at them. Scan the room. I bet four out of five people have felt that way too. Monumentally inconsequential. In fact, I'll be honest. Today, even now as I'm writing this, I myself am feeling it. 

I have no motivation to continue on with my book. I'm looking for a job that feels like it just does not exist any where for me. I need to start school for a career I'm terrified I'll be old by the time I eventually get there. I feel like I am treading the deep waters of my own life. I am not swimming forward, I'm not even drifting to the sides or backwards. I'm just...dead in the water. 

But do you know what is actually monumentally inconsequential? That monumentally inconsequential feeling is. It doesn't matter how hopeless or lazy, or useless you are feeling. It's important to remember during these times that your existence is not inconsequential. There is someone or something who is counting on you to keep going. Keep treading the water until the current gives you an opening to move in the directions you need. That no matter how hopeless you feel, Hope is always just buried underneath it, waiting for you to reach down and grab it through the muck of that despair. It's important to realize that if you have no motivation sometimes you just need to buck up and do it before that inspiration hits no matter how hard it is.

We will always face times where we feel ...monumentally inconsequential. Beat down and hopeless. Unmotivated and gutless. We are human. It's a part of our lives. It is from these times that we reflect most heavily on "Why me." And though it may not feel like it at the time: it is a lesson that will help you for the next rocky part of your life, and adventure. 

We take these moments of monumental consequentiality and we have a choice: We can either let it drag us further down. We can let the pessimism of life win, and convince ourselves that we are  a victim to life and everyone and everything in that life, and we are always miserable. Or we can use the good times and good people to help uplift us. We can dredge on past it - even though it feels as if we are walking in waist high mud. We can keep going, and keep trying no matter how hard, how painful, and how draining that effort truly is (because believe me, I know EXACTLY how mentally and emotionally draining these tedious times in life can be). And we can conquer.

We are NOT inconsequential. Not a single one of us. Every body. And I do mean EVERYBODY has a purpose. A goal. A life. And all of us milling about our daily lives, living day to day, defeating every moment of feeling inconsequential effects our world. Creates a synergy. A purpose. 

Every single one of us is monumentally consequential - even if we do not recognize that we are.