When You Fail - You Succeed

When You Fail, You Are On The Right Path to Success. 

I believe that the only way a person can grow, is to put a conscious effort into it. And whether you are growing a business, expanding yourself personally, or even just looking for a little motivation - I truly believe that the key to that is personal mental growth. 

And in my opinion, one of the biggest keys to self-growth is gaining a new perspective on what we call 'failure.' Failure can be defined as so many things - each individual can look at themselves and pick out mental and emotional sores from experiences that they deem as failures. Personally, financially, business wise, socially, and so on and so forth. 

Recently, I had some severe failures of my own. Personally and business-wise - and those failures were directly entwined with each other. And I could not get past it. I kept thinking: "If only I had done this." Or "I should have walked away." "I wasted so much time." I was so fixated on my failures - that I could not move forward beyond those failures. 

You know what they say though - you are and always will be your own worst critic - and in being that you are your own worst enemy when it comes to achieving success. 

So I did some digging and found a wonderful book - written by an established and wonderful author named John Maxwell. The book was titled "Failing Forward." The title immediately caught my eye - and it was on my list of self-growth books that I needed to read anyway. 

And it was the first few chapters where I found the keys to my own enlightenment.  So I would like to 'dumb down' a few of the main points here that Maxwell explained in his book - and share it with all of my readers.  These points were so amazing, and so thought provoking that it was within the first few chapters that I was able to begin moving forward and taking my failures with me to a new path - where I very strongly hope to succeed - using my failures as my cornerstone and foundation for my success. 

So first we need to understand what failure is. Everyone has their own definition. And most of the time, it has a negative definition. The very word failure sends ripples of anxiety and fear in most people. Because we have all, for the most part, been raised to believe that failure is objective, that it's permanent, that it's a stain on ourselves that will forever be remembered.  Basically, in a nutshell most people view failure as: "You did not succeed. You failed. And in doing so, you have brought shame upon yourself, your family, and your cow." - Yes. I just made a Mulan reference. Go watch it after you read this. It's a great movie. 

So what is failure truly? The true definition of failure is this: "Failure is the price we pay for success."

John Maxwell explained this beautifully in his book, and it comes up repeatedly throughout it. He felt the urgency to repeat it several times - so I will take a page from his book - (get it?) - and so will I.

Failure is the price we pay for success.

All roads that lead to accomplishment, success and triumph lead through the land of failure.  This is a semi edited statement taken directly out of John Maxwell's book. And he is absolutely right! He gives many stories of great people of importance in history, with detailed accounts of their failures and what brought them to success. But I am going to just highlight a few ones of important note.

Albert Einstein is perhaps my most favorite historical figure to think about when I'm feeling hard on myself. He had the most amazing view of failure, and some of his most famous quote give you quite an insight to it. To list a few of those quotes that explain how failure is a success:

• "A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new."
• "Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid."
• "Once you stop learning, you start dying."
• "It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer."

Or what about Thomas Edison's quote about failure? 

• "I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

And a personal hero of mine - J.K Rowling. She was rejected by 12 publishers. But because she did not give up - look at the monumental BRAND that "Harry Potter" is today. Same with a lesser favored "Twilight" series, that was rejected by 14 publishers! 

The most important thing to learn here is that failure is not objective, it's subjective. John Maxwell explains this concept beautifully in his book - but here is a simple break down of it.  Only you can label yourself, make yourself feel or look like a failure. As John Maxwell informed me - failure is not a stigma unless you make it a stigma on yourself. 

So... the difference between "achieving" people and "average" or "failing" people?  Point of view of course. Perspective. So the first step for me, was that I needed a new definition, a new perspective and a new approach to my failures. 

Maxwell highlighted a few important key facts that I have made a conscious decision to apply to myself. And they key factors are dramatically helping me every day change my perspective - so that I can continue to "fail forward," instead of just failing. 

1. Achievers reject rejection and do not take failure personally.
2. Achievers don't see failure as permanent. 
3. Achievers see incidents of 'failure' as isolated events. 
4. Achievers keep REASONABLE and REALISTIC goals - I am so guilty of setting almost impossible goals - which in turn sets me up for failure. 
5. Achievers focus on strengths, and what they CAN do - and they try to hone their weaknesses in their spare time so that they can add them to the strengths list. 
6. Achievers try a variety of methods to succeed in their goals. If one way does not work - they try again a different way (Heeeey, Mr. Edison!)
7. Achievers bounce back. Life is a series of 'outcomes.' And every outcome is a lesson - and that most certainly includes 'failures.' 

So from here on out. Stop letting the fear of "failure" paralyze you, stop procrastinating, stop feeling hopeless and like you have no meaning to your life, stop avoiding what you are afraid of, and stop being inactive. 

Because according to both John Maxwell - AND Albert Einstein - "A life full of mistakes is more honorable than one of non-action." 

And I would be to agree. Whatever your goals are, remember to make reasonable and realistic goals - and if you don't succeed ... try again. You didn't fail. You just didn't quite succeed that time around. But that doesn't mean you can't. 

So quit smoking. Get promoted. Build a business. Fall in love. Go make a friend. Tell that terrible truth. And be free knowing that ALL success is a direct result from failure.

Oh! And if you're wondering - YES! You can read this amazing book. You can actually find it on Youtube  - the entire audio book for free. However - you can also find it on Amazon.com. If you are struggling with failure, and how to get past it - I super DUPER recommend John Maxwell's "Failing Forward."  It will move you and help you better understand failure, so that you can reach your personal success. 

Stressucation! A Debrief of Stress Harmful Effects And 5 Organic Tips to DeStress

We always hear about how stress isn’t good us. People are always telling us that we need to relax (which if you’re anything like me, that irritates you and stresses you out more). But why? There of those of us that are called “stressors.” Our stress holds us together. As long as we have a 10 hour work shift, errands to run, bills to pay (which is why we have to work 10 hour work shifts), and a million other things to do we seem to be held pretty much together. It’s not like we choose to be this way, we just are. Because that’s how our life is. Because let’s face it: Being an adult is stressful and it’s rare that we find those moments when we don’t have at least one thing stressing us out. But it’s just stress right? Sure maybe you don't feel the best emotionally, and may have a hard time getting your thoughts together but the fact of the matter is stressors  that may be harming ourselves physically on top of our obvious emotional/mental problems.

Not only does constant stress make it harder to focus and function, but stress also lowers our immune system. Without getting into exact science of it, stress inhibits our immune system, as well as our ability to heal, as well as opening up the door for vulnerability to some major life-changing diseases such as Type 2 Diabetes, some autoimmune diseases, and osteoporosis. Scary right? So how do people who have stress, especially the chronic stressors, get some relief? And how do they get it without taking  anxiety medication or other medications that may ‘zombie-fy’ them? Well, here’s a few non-chemical tips to get that de-stress everybody needs!

• Start with a Tea. Everyone knows that one person out there who just cannot start their day without that morning coffee. If they don’t get their coffee they are cranky, groggy, slow and well… Coffee-zilla. Don’t worry. This segment is not about giving that cup of morning joe up. Even though coffee isn’t exactly great for you, one cup a day isn’t going to cause major damage. However if you have more than one, maybe you should consider replacing that second cup with a tea! It’s just as good, and way better for your body. And those of you who are smoothie breakfast people, or don’t really have a morning beverage ceremonially, you too ought to consider a tea. A cup of chamomile tea, chai tea, or green tea will get those stress feelings under control.
• Bust-A-Move. We are all tired of hearing our doctors to tell us to exercise. And as an adult, there's only a small portion of us who have time between work, family and life to put in a work out. And let’s be real here - there’s a select few people who like exercising. Exercising is not as bad as it seems though! Exercise is kind of like meditating for those that cannot empty their mind to meditate. Once one begins to exercise, after a while, all your focus goes to the one action that you’re doing as your body works harder and harder to complete the tasks you’re telling it to do. And when your body gets to working like that, endorphins (a scientific word for ‘happy’ feelsy stuff in your body) begin to flow. And believe it or not, after your workout you will feel more relaxed, be in a better mood despite yourself, and even though you might be sweaty and out of breath; answers that you might have been struggling with become more clear. So maybe you don’t want to go on a diet and exercise to lose weight (probably to just spite your Dr. It’s okay we all do it.), just find time for 30 minutes a day of whatever physical activity you enjoy (that gets your heart pumping and your sweat pouring) to keep those stress levels down!
• Clear your mind! Some people can’t meditate while sitting still. It’s just not possible for them. For some people they don’t have the discipline to not fidget, others don’t have the attention span, and let’s face it - focusig on nothing or just the feeling of your nose is hard. The term ‘meditate’ is used loosely here. Meditation-in-motion is something that is being encouraged more and more. Meditate by doing something that relaxes you. Adult-Coloring books are becoming a rather well known thing, as coloring helps you focus on one action at a time, and when you get focused on it you lose track of thought of much else. Some people actually use running or walking as their meditation, focusing on burning calories or going a distance, keeping up a certain speed, or even just focusing on the sensation of their legs burning as they lift and step, the feeling of their foot hitting the ground or the sweat dripping down their face. Find an activity that allows you to focus on it, instead of everything that may or may not stress you out. And if you’re one of the few that has the ability to sit on a yoga-mat and focus on just your breathing then make sure you do it! A little breather every day will help you be able to feel more in control of your situation and your stress triggers.
• Crank it up! Everybody needs some music. Again music helps the body relax and release those feel-goods in your hormones. Music appreciation is stimulated by whatever brave waves it activates - or something like that. So whether you are a rocker, a bee-bopper, an oldies and goodies, or if you appreciate the sound of a good country tune, no matter what it is, play it.  As long as you like what you hearing, turn that music on and up whenever you can! And if you play an instrument, make sure you play it to your hearts content!
• Sleep is your friend - no matter how evasive it may seem. When your stressed, sleep isn’t exactly an easy thing to come by. But learn your body, put yourself on a scheduled regime so that your body becomes accustomed to sleeping at a certain time. Out of everything, this is probably the hardest thing to do. However if you are tired, you will not be able to manage your stress. So learn how to manage your sleep and get help for it if you must. A cup of chamomile tea with yarrow and passionflower will help you relax making your melatonin more effective.

Detox - The Proper Way (Body)

One of the many things about today's society that bothers me is the hype about "Detoxing" as part of a daily routine for diets. There is a lot of misguided thoughts about Colon Cleansers and Detoxes that make people think: "This will help me lose weight!"  It also strongly bothers me when people take western medicine to do this. Why are you taking a pill for detoxing your body - a pill that has an entire rapsheet of "potential side-effects?" Please. Can anyone explain this logic to me? Why would you not go the natural route - the route where the worst side effect's you'll get is an upset stomach?

The point of Detoxing your body is not to lose weight. If you lose a pound or two from doing doing such a thing to your body it simply means you had a lot of excess waste within your system - and it has been purged. It does NOT mean continue to do so - and you will keep losing weight. Because this method of losing weight is achieving two things: Dehydration and malnutrition. You are succeeding in giving yourself a constant stream of diarrhoea that is in no way shape or form beneficial to you once the initial detox has completed it's cycle. And that is why your body is withering away, it has nothing to do with "weight loss."

Why does this bother me so much? Well. I'm a shaman, and often times I prescribe a colon cleansing or a bodily detox to the people who ask me for help. I am a healer - and the hype the media and scum-bag dietary con-artists have plotted up are making the world unhealthy.  

Let me first explain what detoxing the body is for, because some of you may not understand. A detox of the body, sometimes called a "colon cleansing," is for the purpose helping ones body rid itself of the waste that has lined the digestive system and bowels - and has remained stuck there for longer than it needs to be. It also is good to help rid oneself of excess toxins from drug use, alcohol consumption and smoking (diuretics are also good for this.) Just to reiterate: Its called a colon "cleansing" and a "detox" for a reason. It aids in getting rid of withdrawals from substances as well by flushing them out of your system. 

And you do not need to do this more than once or twice a year - unless your an avid absorber of toxins that effect your body in such a way.

But how? How does one detox the body safely, without pills and questionable powders that they tell you to mix into the drinks that look add and taste awful? Easy.

There are several herbs that I personally use when I am creating a tea people to help them detox their bodies. The main herbs being: Senna leaf, Chamomile, Peppermint, hibiscus and Psyllium Husk.

The first four herbs are herbs I combine into a gentle tea. It doesn't taste bad. The active ingredients are the Senna. This leaf is great for people who are constipated as well. Most of the time, if a client is simply having bowel movement troubles, this is what I use.  For older people I use less senna to make it more gentle. If a person is constipated to an extreme, I use a rather large pinch. Senna has a way of sneaking up on you, it sometimes can take several hours to kick in. That does NOT mean use more or you won't have life outside of the bathroom for at least twenty-four hours. The peppermint is to sooth the stomach while your body is purging itself, and to add taste. The hibiscus is a diuretic, and is jam packed with antibodies that will need to be replenished as your body is losing them. And Chamomile is to once again, soothe the system, and keep your body relaxed as it purges whatever is in your system out. 

Now this is tea is situational. If we are needing a strong detox, then it is always used in two light doses for the first day, then a strong dose of senna for the next day. The light dose is to prepare the body for the main purge, so that the next day it is not so rough on the person. 

Psyllium Husk is an amazing herb. This herb can be used on farm animals (cows, and horses) with stomach related issues. (You can probably ask anyone with horses - Psyllium Husk can save a horses life.) But it's gentle enough to use on people, and small animals. For people, Twice a day until your body decides to purge itself. Three spoonfuls of the herb directly in a warm (Very gentle and light dose) senna tea. This is probably best treated as a fiber powered drink - because the herb will expand, then coagulate and become mush,  and look like oatmeal if you let it leave sit. It's best to skull (Chug) this herb. The psyllium husk will then stick to whatever is in your body.  It will act to the waste within your system much like Draino acts to clogged up pipes. It will stick to it, and drag it out when flushed. 

These are proper methods of detoxing your body. Not only are they safer, and natural - but they are bound to make you healthier. Remember not to over Detox - or you will simply deplete your body of vitamins. Oh and one more thing readers - If you want to be clean and not have to worry about detoxing... see the foods below. Those are what you should be eating. Fresh and everyday!

"No matter how pretty the package - it's STILL a lie, a scam, and complete incorrect information!"