Monumentally Inconsequential

When the sun is shining brightly, the temperature is comfortable and there is a gentle breeze kissing the skin of your face, how do you feel?

I suppose there is not really one answer. It would depend on your mood, your circumstances, and your frame of mind. It's not always fluffy clouds and wide skies, and stars that we can reach for. Sometimes even on the bluest, brightest of days our skies are dim and dark. 

Have you ever felt monumentally inconsequential? Have you ever felt so useless you wondered why you keep on walking? Felt that nothing you ever did makes any sort of dent in anything you've ever wanted to accomplish so in all honesty the smartest choice is to give up? Have you ever fought the urge to just flop on the ground in the middle of the street and say: "I give up. Nothing I do will make a difference anyway,"?

Yeah. You're not alone. If you have people around you, look at them. Scan the room. I bet four out of five people have felt that way too. Monumentally inconsequential. In fact, I'll be honest. Today, even now as I'm writing this, I myself am feeling it. 

I have no motivation to continue on with my book. I'm looking for a job that feels like it just does not exist any where for me. I need to start school for a career I'm terrified I'll be old by the time I eventually get there. I feel like I am treading the deep waters of my own life. I am not swimming forward, I'm not even drifting to the sides or backwards. I'm just...dead in the water. 

But do you know what is actually monumentally inconsequential? That monumentally inconsequential feeling is. It doesn't matter how hopeless or lazy, or useless you are feeling. It's important to remember during these times that your existence is not inconsequential. There is someone or something who is counting on you to keep going. Keep treading the water until the current gives you an opening to move in the directions you need. That no matter how hopeless you feel, Hope is always just buried underneath it, waiting for you to reach down and grab it through the muck of that despair. It's important to realize that if you have no motivation sometimes you just need to buck up and do it before that inspiration hits no matter how hard it is.

We will always face times where we feel ...monumentally inconsequential. Beat down and hopeless. Unmotivated and gutless. We are human. It's a part of our lives. It is from these times that we reflect most heavily on "Why me." And though it may not feel like it at the time: it is a lesson that will help you for the next rocky part of your life, and adventure. 

We take these moments of monumental consequentiality and we have a choice: We can either let it drag us further down. We can let the pessimism of life win, and convince ourselves that we are  a victim to life and everyone and everything in that life, and we are always miserable. Or we can use the good times and good people to help uplift us. We can dredge on past it - even though it feels as if we are walking in waist high mud. We can keep going, and keep trying no matter how hard, how painful, and how draining that effort truly is (because believe me, I know EXACTLY how mentally and emotionally draining these tedious times in life can be). And we can conquer.

We are NOT inconsequential. Not a single one of us. Every body. And I do mean EVERYBODY has a purpose. A goal. A life. And all of us milling about our daily lives, living day to day, defeating every moment of feeling inconsequential effects our world. Creates a synergy. A purpose. 

Every single one of us is monumentally consequential - even if we do not recognize that we are.